my blog title and what it means now that i’m back

I started this blog about 3 1/2 years ago now, just before my 20th birthday and just before I left for my first ever experience in Germany, when I studied abroad for half a year in Freiburg. I finagled with the name for a long time, trying to get something clever or partially in German and came up short. So I settled for a little lyric snippet from one of my favorite songs at the time, which continues to be near to my heart.

It’s from “Ought to Be” by Audrey Assad, a little song from her first album which I love very much. She wrote it for her husband, but as she is a Catholic singer it is often read from a spiritual/religious perspective, which still works. I like it because it speaks to the experience of learning, and learning to love. It resonates with me in my youth, but I suspect it also has meaning to people who are older, because who has perfected the art of loving?

A sample of the lyrics, including my humble blog title:

“It may not be clear as the morning yet, it may not be strong as the restless seas

And it may not be red as the roses yet; it may not be strong as the old oak trees

But love planted deeply becomes what it ought to,

And hearts given freely become what they ought to

Love planted deeply becomes what it ought to be.”

At the time, I liked this lyric and this song because I didn’t know where I was going or what I was supposed to do, but I had faith that if I continued with faith and love that my life would become something beautiful. And I think that’s still true, but I also think that the meaning of that little poetic sentiment has come true in a lot of ways I wouldn’t have expected… life imitating art or something like that.

The differences between myself at 23 years old and myself at barely 20 years old… how do I even begin to understand them? I’m a totally different person now. I have a much better idea of where I want to be in life, professionally, personally, spiritually, etc. Many of these things, I have found or determined based on a lot of faith and trust in God’s love and the love of others.

When I made my Covenant of Love in October 2012, the personal ideal I found was actually very similar to the ideas in the song… staying firm and rooted in God’s love as a way of truly finding myself and becoming generous, loving, and all the attributes I aspire to. And I think that’s borne fruit in a lot of areas of my life. So I guess it’s fitting that the blog still has this title 3 years later, because there are still things I can learn from it.

Anyway, that being said, what place does this blog have going forward, now that I’m not in Europe and I don’t have exciting trips and foreign experiences to blog about all the time? I will admit that I leaned heavily on travel posts last year, partially out of cultural sensitivity due to who I knew was reading the blog, partially out of mental tiredness, partially out of what seemed the most interesting to write about.

I think I will continue to post about new things that I experience, and in general whatever thoughts, patterns, or ideas I think need telling. I am moving this week to a new part of the country where I’ve never lived and starting a new chapter of my life, and who says that’s less noteworthy than living abroad? I guess I’ll take some cues from what I experience and what I’m drawn to write about the most as I figure out how this blog thing will work from now on.

I’m excited!! Yay for new chapters. I’m glad I can take my faraway family/friends and readers along on some kind of journey as it begins…

2 thoughts on “my blog title and what it means now that i’m back

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